We’re all occasionally susceptible to things we’d normally snort indignantly at, and those who say otherwise are liars. Somehow, before you can scoff ‘I’ve got standards’, you find yourself in the worst possible establishment, blaming everyone but Numero Uno. Here are just a few of the Steel City’s uglier local attractions.
Meadowhall’s appeal is diminishing, thanks to Sheffield city centre’s commercial revival, but it still seems like a worthwhile destination once you’ve forgotten how pointless it was the last time you visited. That glass dome sucks in shoppers nationwide, chews them up and spits them back out fatigued, disillusioned, and wondering how in five hours they found absolutely nothing to spend money on. Still, maybe you and the teenage mothers will find something you want on that inevitable next trip.
Give a body a diary full of responsibilities and their pub radar suddenly bleeps into life. As long as somewhere like The Cavendish still exists, popping into town for a quick half will always be a test of personal values. Slap in the middle of the city centre’s busiest drinking strip it is like most of the ubiquitous yellow card pubs: depressingly unavoidable and unavoidably depressing. Regret usually kicks in as your pint is spilled trying to navigate your way through the pub golfers, but it’s always busy and with a yellow card the drinks are silly cheap.
And let’s face it, any fool who lowers their guard thus far will almost certainly find themselves coaxed into a club. Be it a job interview the following day or an essay sitting unfinished at home, that instinctive attraction towards low-grade antics always wins out. The Leadmill’s weekly layering of cheese at Monday’s Shag is applied thicker than pink cement. When DJ Cheddar double drops Reach by S Club 7 with Hammertime do you throw your hands up like a drag queen at Mardi Gras or gape in To annihilate any lingering conscience, a trip to the kebab shop works wonders. The sticky walls of Aslan have witnessed the drunken epiphany of many clubbers come 3am, and the revelatory power of munching on spicy roadkill are widely acknowledged. Ingesting their stodgy portions of cholesterol really does make you realise that rock bottom has been struck, and inspires the resolution that spiritual and nutritional recovery must be your next course of action. After those last few chips though.
Meadowhall (The Land of Shoppertunity)
M1 junction 34
(0114) 256 8800
Mon–Fri, 10am–9pm; Sat,
9am–7pm; Sun, 11am–5pm
220–238 West Street
(0114) 252 5781
6 Leadmill Road
(0114) 221 2828
187 West Street
(0114) 272 7888
Mon–Sat, 11am–3am; Sun, 11am–12am